Friday ‘Fessional. (Be) Lated (Birthday).

Thank you so much for
all of the Birthday Wishes & Birthday Love.
So … I’m posting this just about 2 hrs & 30 min late. But, after this wonderful evening of some really great family & friends celebrating my 28th birthday with me, it felt necessary to disclose. I…
Birthday Outfit
& the Rooms.

…often wear see-through shirts. In a classy way. You see, I like to channel Lana del Rey. And. I like to try to show-off my tattoos. There it is. Confession in full. Hope all the March 8th’s of the world have had as a great a Birthday as I & continue to have a celebratory birthday weekend.
(Because–confession #2–it’s really my Birthday all weekend long. #letsbereal.) On that note:

Shop Local. Made in America: Anthropologie Birthday Horray!

I am almost 30. Which would be a lot more accurate if we were dawning upon the eve of my 30th Birthday. Which we are not. Instead, I say the official foray into my late-20’s is close enough. Not that I view 30 as enemy territory. In fact, I view 30 & all things leading up as an excuse to act more adult. Which means using my 15% off Birthday gift to Express Ship expensive blouses from Anthropologie warehouse to my doorstep, before 28 years of celebration ensues, completely guilt-free. Post Script: Express Shipping is just $10 more. #worthit
Free Membership. 15% off. Free Standard Shopping.
Happy Birthday.

…Please tell me you know about the Anthropolgie Membership. It’s like a free $15 (min) every single year of the month you were born. (Clarification: I say $15 min b/c, let’s face it, we’re probably all spending 100+ even on a sale purchase from our fav designer-retailer.) On my birthday weekend, I normally brave the mall, head to Eastview, and purchase all Anthropolo-gifts  in-store. (It’s about maximizing the 15% off, though the discount does come with free Standard Shipping!) This year, I’m hoofing it local. We’re talking ShopPeppermint & VOA. Still, I could not resist the pull of my free Anthro-dollar-ies.
Everything about this look.
I knew I’d buy only the dress or top that whispered sweet-nothings to me. When I saw the Gemma Lace Button down in blue, with its Virginia Woolf inspired edge and sweet & sexy lace, and when I saw that it is USA made, I knew it must be true. I’d found my birthday blouse. The best part about this Vanessa Virginia design is its versatility and timelessness. Office-chic, going-out ready. Classic lines, sturdy lace. A mature investment for a young, though maturing, wardrobe.

“Vain trifles as they seem, clothes have, they say, more important offices than to merely keep us warm. They change our view of the world and the world’s view of us.” -Virginia Woolf, “Orlando”

picture dark skinnies, black booties, rhinestones & chains; pink/red/coral lip (take your pick), same hair, sleek bag, and a half-finished tattoo poking through…
Happy Birthday

Essay. Why I Write.

Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One 
would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can 
neither resist nor understand. For all one knows that demon is simply the same instinct that
makes a baby squall for attention. And yet it is also true that one can write nothing readable
unless one constantly struggles to efface one’s own personality. […] And looking back through
my work, I see that it is invariably where I lacked a political purpose that I wrote lifeless books
and was betrayed into purple passages, sentences without meaning, decorative adjectives and
humbug generally.
                                                                           -George Orwell 1946, “Why I Write”

* * *
I haven’t posted because I’ve been working.

Making money: never. Words, yes. Plucking fibers from the air of a life that’s unraveled and weaving them into pages.

I’m still working, now. Tirelessly. Last night, while I looped in and around the rungs of sleep, I edited words which I’d read at least 800 times already: silent, aloud, fractured, full. Hyperbolic? I think not.

This week I hope to wrap-it. Not the writing. But the crafting. The carving of my piece on the months spent wandering inside of the globe of a city called New York. 2009, maybe ’10, the year we embarked. Hands dehydrated with clay yet awash with water just to skim a few layers here and add functionality there

I need begin researching. My favorite memoirs. Their publishers. Styles. Tone. Syntax. Semantics. Story. Ticks. Resurfacing.

I’m not sure that mine fits: fiction-like, literature, far beyond the scope of schoolyard scribbles. Every time I write, I feel the pen & ink, weighted in my hand. But when I look down and read, thick and sloppy chalk slaughters the sagging lines of my page. Like assaulting cardboard with a box-cutter to slice intricate snowflakes into lace.

Truly, you will never know. Not the writing. But what it was like. God could maybe tell you, but, all writers, all I’ve ever known, have only ever tried.

(Shawn Booth. Kamikaze Tattoo.)
* * *
George Orwell (Animal Farm, for one) famously penned the essay (1946) and the inspiration for this post. Here are my favorite excerpts. Worth reading because it’s not just about the write.

“[…] I think there are four great motives for writing, at any rate for writing prose. They exist in different degrees in every writer, and in any one writer the proportions will vary from time to time, according to the atmosphere in which he is living. They are:

(i) Sheer egoism. Desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on the grown-ups who snubbed you in childhood, etc., etc. It is humbug to pretend this is not a motive, and a strong one. Writers share this characteristic with scientists, artists, politicians, lawyers, soldiers, successful businessmen — in short, with the whole top crust of humanity. The great mass of human beings are not acutely selfish. After the age of about thirty they almost abandon the sense of being individuals at all — and live chiefly for others, or are simply smothered under drudgery. But there is also the minority of gifted, willful people who are determined to live their own lives to the end, and writers belong in this class. Serious writers, I should say, are on the whole more vain and self-centered than journalists, though less interested in money.
(ii) Aesthetic enthusiasm. Perception of beauty in the external world, or, on the other hand, in words and their right arrangement. Pleasure in the impact of one sound on another, in the firmness of good prose or the rhythm of a good story. Desire to share an experience which one feels is valuable and ought not to be missed. The aesthetic motive is very feeble in a lot of writers, but even a pamphleteer or writer of textbooks will have pet words and phrases which appeal to him for non-utilitarian reasons; or he may feel strongly about typography, width of margins, etc. Above the level of a railway guide, no book is quite free from aesthetic considerations.
(iii) Historical impulse. Desire to see things as they are, to find out true facts and store them up for the use of posterity.
(iv) Political purpose. — Using the word ‘political’ in the widest possible sense. Desire to push the world in a certain direction, to alter other peoples’ idea of the kind of society that they should strive after. Once again, no book is genuinely free from political bias. The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude.”
* * *
(i) I like to think a lot about what I will say & how funny I’ll sound when Ellen interviews me, SNL invites me as host, & Joel McHale begins to emulate me.
(ii) I read my words aloud. A lot. (Like right now.)
(iii) I want to fossilize the truth of what happened to me because its posterity could change meaning for possibly the world.
(iv) Health Insurance. Mental Health Care. Women’s Rights. Education. Free.
* * *
here’s to writing a book.
& then getting it
(but mostly, 
to writing a book.)
& Orwell, too.

Love. Laughs. Life. Local. Americana 4th.

Every time I hear:
O’er the land of the free,
& the home of the brave.
Flag from Schooner’s. Genesee River.
I hope that everyone enjoys a safe & celebratory 4th of July. Remember who fought & how. Respect the fight & the free. Never give into fear. And seek bravery, ever into the night. 
Full Moon from Lux Lounge. South Wedge.
* * *
Calabrese’s in The Flats. West Irondequoit. 
Farm House. Calabrese Studio.
Sitting on the Dock. Shannon & Devon.

Canoeing. Campfire. Matt.
Americana. Beauties. Shannon. Devon. Katia.
Thinkin’ & Talkin’. Shannon. Devon.
 Huggin’ & Wearin’ White. Katia. Shannon.
Walkin’. Backyard Camp. Shannon.
Tom’s Toes. Nicole.

 Charlotte Beach. Lake Ontario.

Seagulls. Sand. Sun.
Lake. Life Guards.

Home. West Irondequoit.

Klonk. Clothesline. Clothing. Butterfly Bush.
House Recipe. Neighbors. Brewed in Roc. Schooner’s.
 * * *
DumDum. PBR. PB&J. Lux. Sober. So. Happy.
4th of July.